I turned my back. I turned my back from her,from the addiction which had bounded me to her since the last two and half decades. I turned my heart. I turned my heart from the only species of opposite gender who has ever mattered to me more than my life. As the seal on my passport embedded and I changed my Identity, My personality changed. I turned my back. I turned my back from my self…
“Mummy!! Mummy!! Where have u kept them.!? Mummy, why can’t I find them on the place, where I had left them yesterday!! Why do u try to interfere in my things and always end up turning my world upside down!!”, Cried out Arav in exasperation as he failed to find his shoes. The 14 year old lad was unable to arrange his books yet was blaming his mother for turning his world up side down. An awesome poet,nerdy quizzing guy but popularly known as “the guy with guitars”,his determination was a force to be rekoned with. He was intelligent,witty,and eyes with dreams that dazzle every time when he looks at others. He was not any typical Indian guy,but in another way he was one of them, crazy about cricket but sane enough not enter into heroworship,eager to point fingers towards every one but intelligent enough to mind his own business,curios about to poke nose into other matters but patient enough not to make an issue out of it. In simpler words our hero was every inch an average Indian guy yet he was different.He wore this cute smile which can charm every woman in the vicinity,but had this aura of mystery and superiority around him which can intrigue any man Infront of him. Anyway coming back to his story, well may be due to my blabbering we have missed his growing up years . He is ,well 16 now.
His father looking up, trying to make a point , said ‘u need to speed down Arav. Next time I find you breaking the speed limit you are going to be grounded’. Arav had outgrown his father in height. Well he didn’t want to stop there. He wanted to outgrow him in every way possible. Out grow him in his success, outgrow him in making money, outgrow in carrying out responsibility and more than that he wanted to outgrow him in taking care of his family. And he knew if there was any person who would be happier to b outgrown by him, it was his father. So, with a smirk he replied “never dad. There would be no next time.I would not give you a chance to find me braking the speed limits again”. His mother came with a heavy book of Physics.”the delivery man delivered this today. U need to gear up for the exams if u really want to be an engineer”,said his mother handing him the book. All he could do was stare at the book. Gone are the days when he used to flip the pages, gone are the days when he used to sit and play with tunes. Now he had aspirations ,a passion to die for. He had known what he wanted and now no one could stop him. Not even LOVE….
As the bell rung , A boy shouted, “Arav bhaiya ,Arav bhaiya!! wake up, today is your convocation. Uncle and aunty are due on airport in 2 hrs. Wake up Bhaiya.wake up!!!” Arav reluctantly left his bed and went to the bath room. As the cold tiles hit his feet, reality struck him hard. Today was the last day of his college life. Last day with all his friends. Last day with Nitansha,the girl who ‘turned his world upside down’.Last day when he could see her in flesh and blood.All those moments of chemistry flashed in his eyes.. The moment she had rebelled against seniors, the moment when he had envied her for stealing the lime light . The moment when she had actually stolen the limelight beating him in the guitar quest,the moment when he had taken the revenge in semester results. The moment prof.dutta had put them together in a project group . The moment they had together ruined his lab. The moment he had put the blame on her and the moment she took the blame upon her. .The moment He had apolozised . The moment she had forgiven. The moment he had shared his feelings , the moment she had gone down on her knees . His moments , her moments and when they merged to be their moments. Her careless attitudes, his responsibility towards her. His aloofness ,her sensitivity. His grave arrogancy,and her easy going jovial nature, was all that a physical balance needs to stick it’s needle at zero. But one thing was there… That turned the equation into an inequality. He wanted to fly high but she was not ready to leave the ground yet. Her dreams were to live with her closed ones. And he had aspired to live for his closed ones.Had they realized that ,they both were living by their closed ones, they might have stuck together.
As the hot shower got cooler erasing his pain, he realized he had to pick his parents up. He got out of the shower and quickly made himself presentable.
The pride in his father’s eyes , the tears in his mother’s eyes ;when he was awarded with a gold metal could somehow lessen the pain in his eyes by seeing nitansha departing for forever with a sardonic look in her eyes.
As the plane left the ground of his motherland , Arav left behind his old self. His old memories. If the argument about his decision of leaving the country has made him realized anything, it was that he really needed to leave the country. Nitansha’s words echoed in his ears”you’r a coward. A selfish person who sees no one.A person who can’t even understand the needs of his loved ones”.
He sacrified his life with loved ones for the dream he had aspired. He sacrified his life for his loved ones. Brain drain for supporting ones family was a common issue. But brain drain for supporting ones dream had stirred a fire among his people. He never knew how to poison the dreams he had worked so long to nurish and cherish. He didn’t knew how to let all those efforts go in a sigh. He couldn’t bring himself to murder the dreams which he had seen in the eyes of his parents. They all had seen it in unison. He admitted none of them knew a day like this would come ,neither had they known the scopes in astrophysics is so slim there. He couldn’t restrain his enthusiasm in that narrow space. It blinded him, suffocated him. But no one understood him. No one understood that it wasn’t for Nitansha… Not even his family. Not even Nitansha….
“I turnedd my back. I turned my back from her,from the addiction which had bounded me to her since the last two and half decades. I turned my heart. I turned my heart from the only species of opposite gender who has ever mattered to me more than my life. As the seal on my passport embedded and I changed my Identity, My personality changed. I turned my back. I turned my back from my self…” Arav said to kaira. “I wasn’t intended on leaving them alone forever. I wanted to bring them with me. Had I have slightest doubt of their suffering without me I wouldn’t have left them alone. But they are well off without me. They were well off without me when I was in hostel. N I have promised myself ,after accomplishing what I have come for I would go back to them. But they don’t understand” he cried remebering the calloused hands of his mother. He cried remebering the day when his father brought him a guitar,selling his cycle. When he had brought him the Physics book from the money he had saved for his mobile. He cried remebering the day when his father had said “If u want to smile for us, smile for yourself. If u want to make us smile, smile yourself.” And the day when his mother had said”If someone offers u a life with the kind of love you want and someone with the kind of life u want; chose the life you want, For love is a luxury and life is a necessity”. He cried into the arms of kaira.
Kaira,The one who was, some how able to restore his upside down earth,the one who understood him. Away from home, away from family he found another Soul who, having felt those herself, shared his emotions..
It’s not about THE LOVE yet it’s about ‘love’.