REFLECTION

With mascara stained eyes,when she looked in to the mirror she was greeted by a beautiful bride. A bride, Who was beautiful to the whole world. Whom the family of groom had adored.Whom the society had approved.  But that reflection was not her. All she could see was the eyes which had restrained the spring of tears, Makeup that had hidden the ugly poke marks of her embarrassment. All she knew that the bride staring back at her was a complete stranger to her. She wasn’t much into theatrics but,now that she was looking back into today’s performance she thought she could have easily passed for any role. This wasn’t the reflection of girl her parents had raised for 27 years. 

Today was her marriage reception. Her fourth night. But it didn’t feel like her special day. She didn’t feel beautiful. She didn’t feel anxiety or nervous.Rather She was feeling guilty and insecure. She had left her safe zone behind her. She was facing the battle in a field where every one was eager to paw at her . She neither had patron to defend her nor had companions to confide in. For the first time she had an encounter with the irony of life. Life was playing a practical joke on her ,where every well wisher was either turning his back by saying goodbye or welcoming her to their family with a look of warning. The day which was supposed to be the intersection of two families was slowly turning into the cold war of the two. She learnt the hard way that she belonged to no one. Every one here is in a hurry to pass the burden. Yeah !! The burden that was her. All her life her families had dreamt of giving her away,and now in her new family she was an opposing outsider.  N yet she was here to walk alone, protect herself and her secret. But she didn’t feel like pretending Infront of the man on whose side she was going to spend her life …

Slowly she rose from the dressing stool. Went to the window. Night sky always had an soothing effect on her. She smiled looking at the moon. A smile that didn’t lit her face up. Rather it was a smile of self assertion. She was thinking of blowing her cover up Infront of a man she didn’t love. Let alone love,she didn’t even know him. How could she hide the bitterness of her past!!?  She wasn’t beautiful. She wasn’t sufficient. Her love wasn’t enough to keep ‘her love’ . And now without makeup could any person accept her !! 

She went to the washroom. Splashed water . The flowing water removed all her makeup. Gone are the layers of foundation,along with the layers of pretendance. This time when she glanced into the mirror of the wash room she stared  into her reflection. Knowing that beneath all those layers of pretendance she was able to keep the little bit of honesty intact, gave her more courage than any amount of alcohol. 

She went back to dressing table . Sat there n began to remove the jewellery one by one. She was certain that it would be unfair to the person she had married. She was certain that it’s too late but one thing was clear in her mind she didn’t want to lead a life under the image of a perfect woman. She was far from perfect but she could not bear the weight of makeup any longer. This new found confidence gave her strength. 

She removed all her jewellery one by one waiting for the door to open. Then she began to relax and went to remove the pins from her hair.And suddenly another hand skilfully undid her bun and started to play with the soft curls of her hair. It was him. Her victim , but his presence in the room filled the air with electricity. His scent , strong, masculine yet refreshing like a oceanic breeze played havoc in her head. His breaths tickled her skin. When he placed a soft kiss in her nape, she was transported to another world. A soft moan escaped from her mouth. He chuckled. A hearty chuckle. His voice heavy with promises struck the chord of her heart. Eyes that hold her gaze in the mirror created ripples of nervousness . His touch so smooth and gentle like he was worshipping her sent shivers down her spine. He softly spoke her name ‘Titiksha’. It was like she was reborn .He whispered in her ear ” You’re the best thing that had ever happened to me. Marrying you wasn’t my choice. But I would be damned if I deny that u r more than my dream girl.You are so beautiful that I can’t think of anything else. Now that I have you it would be difficult to keep my hands off you.”The last two sentences were like lightning bolt to her. Reality struck her hard. She was just a Cinderella living a short fairytale,but unlike Disney world here there was no fairy godmother for her. Neither she had any glass shoe nor her prince charming was hellbent on searching hell and heaven for her. She decided it was the time.

I am not a virgin.”she declared. 

He dropped his hand,shocked. She gave a knowing smile. Well for an traditional girl she had managed to come out as a surprise. Actually shock. He looked at her . She couldn’t decipher the words his eyes said silently. The ghosts of her past came haunting towards her. He would now reject her. Physically abuse her and would take her as a prostitute. Like her past love. Who had taken her Innocence with a promise to fight with the whole world for her. Once she submitted her heart and soul to him she didn’t think twice before submitting her body. For she thought sex was the most purest form of love,as described in ancient cultures. But then that stone hearted person had taken her for granted and used her for his needs. And sometimes when she denied he had accused her of selling her body . He having seen every inch of her body had declared her ugly and not worth of his time.  That had left an impression on her soul. The vultures of fear and insecurities were feeding on the carcases of her past. Every time she looked into the mirror she used to see an ugly,dumb,stupid girl staring back at her. The cuts were so deep even the amorentia, after healing the wound would have left a scar on it.

When sometime passed an he stood there looking into her eyes quietly with questions to ask she chose to break the silence. She said I am not proud of the things I have done in my past. But I deny to be seen as a case of utter nuisance and I would accept happily if u decide to annule the marriage. In my support I have only one thing to say If males in our society are allowed to have relationships out of the wedlock then why can’t we!?? Even that excuse sounded hallow to her ear. She hadn’t forgiven herself for being in love with that prick and could never bring herself to accept the way she had let her honor degrade. But by no means she was going to accept that mistake Infront of a stranger. So, in order to defend her she accused him ‘Now don’t tell me you have no experience in that field.’

I was saving myself for the marriage”. He said. 

And now she found herself gawking at him. She was too shocked and embarrassed to utter a word. She lowered her gaze and a single drop of untamed tear found its way out breaking all the walls of her strong resolution.

He came to her. cupped her face and with a calm and soothing voice continued, “Don’t be too harsh on yourself. I am not going to tell you that you were naive, madly in love or trusted him completely. Cause I have seen guilt in your eyes and I know you blame yourself for all those terrible things. You have been terified with idea of someone loving you for the way you are. . You have been too hard on yourself . I can see that . Listen I am not going to give you an earful about love,truth be told I had no idea about love before I met you. When I saw you today I thought you’re perfect. Now that I know you , for me you’re imperfectly perfect. I love you for your honesty. But It would be a lie if I tell u that I wasn’t disappointed. I am disappointed partly because I thought I would be the one and only one to claim you forever and partly because u hadn’t told me this before our marriage. Damn I am disappointed. But yeah I am relieved too,in a way that among all the people out there you chose me to introduce your own self . I would rather say, we all have a hidden desire in us, all of us in some point must have desired someone . But we are not granted with the people we desire. Hell, I have desired Megan fox, Jennifer Lopez and many more but here I’m with you. See that means I myself has loosen my chastity”. With a wink he added “that doesn’t give u an excuse to fire me from the post of your husband. Baby, we all are the same . Some have lost their chastity of body and some have lost that of their heart. I’m happy that you’re vergin by heart.Thats what matters.Even the five ‘satis’ of purans had relations with different persons but they were all pure and dedicated to one person . That’s the essence of our culture. Purity of heart matters the most. Am blessed that I have got an honest, beautiful and trustworthy wife like you. “With that he took her into a warm embrace.His strong arms shielded her from the insecurities of her past. She put her ear on his chest. His heartbeat and her sobs perfectly in sync created the most melodious tune she had ever listened to.

For the first time in her life someone has touched her soul. The kiss that followed his confession brought tears into her eyes. She clung to him as he was her only life line. Now when she stared into the mirror two pairs of eyes smiled back at her. One filled with love and one with trust. In the cold tug of relations she had found her peace in the form of night in shinning armor. Now she believed that fairytales are inspired by real-life stories.  Happy endings do exist.

                                                  _ 🎭Nayana🎭
 

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “REFLECTION

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s