Forever? Maybe not.

But maybe the cupid struck the right arrows that day.
maybe the arrows hit the right places.
maybe…?

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A/N- With this story I complete one year of writing stories. It has been a beautiful one year. Thank you for your love and support .
This story is roughly based on the lovestory of Amrita Pritam and Sahir Ludhianvi. It doesn’t aim at hurting anyone’s emotion. Enjoy it as a story and learn a little about love too.

Happy Reading Folks !

Before leaving, she looked into the mirror one last time. With shivering hands, she straightened her bindi. Dressed in a traditional kurti and a pair of rugged jeans, she reflected her inner chaos.
She passed the room clouded with smoke and inside that little chamber rested a man in his late fifties, a newspaper in one hand and cigarette butt in another. The man took to his feet, came close to her, hovering above her tiny body and whispered with a hidden rage, “Don’t you dare look so beautiful and hit the club. I know my kind, we are an easy prey. I don’t want another man to fall and never learn to rise again.” She freed herself from his claws and went away without paying any attention.

Before going any further, She is Avantika, Avantika Chauhan, and the man with the subtle threats is her husband Mirza Khan. Avantika, a freelance poet, wrote mostly in Hindi and was trying to better her works while Mirza was a famed artist who painted his canvas with the colors of Avantika. But unfortunate as his fate was, Avantika never loved him enough nor was he free enough to spend time with her and give her the love she deserved. Twenty years either was tortured by the other. They were tied in a bond which neither could break because they were equally alone, lonely and brilliant to find someone else.

………………………………………………

The first two performers were already down and the audience was loving them. It was her turn. She exhaled the problems and went up to the stage. This was her first Poetry Slam and a one filled with love to start with. Scanning the audience for the last time her eyes rested on another pair of blue ones. A smile flashed from that end and poetry was what escaped.

After the slam was over, they had a dinner to attend and that was when the blue pair of eyes got a name, a friend and a place in her heart.

Siddhartha, an accomplished poet of the time, melting fleshes around the country with the heat of his words. He was a man of few words and even fewer emotions. Love, affection, relationships, foreverness, intimacy, lust were only a part of his poems.

But maybe the cupid struck the right arrows that day.
maybe the arrows hit the right places.
maybe…?
They hit the heart of a poet dead by heart and a woman tied in the knot of a lifetime.

There’s a thing about fate and destiny neither have been seen nor can be decided. In this world of injustice, pain, and cruelty a little love found its place and blossomed, making one’s poems true and the other’s life worth one.

Siddhartha once described their relationship as,

वो चाय की पहली सुडकी थी,

तो मैं अधजले सिगरेट से निकलता आखरी धुआँ।

It was the most beautiful thing happening to two individuals in their mid-forties.
It is true, love always finds a way. Love arrives when it has to and when you know it is the love you deserve everything falls into place. Everything just fits!
Both of them were so engrossed in each other that their poetries and works reflected the love and respect they felt.

Avantika was a free bird again. The rustic cage of twenty years finally broke open. Mirza and Avantika went separate ways.

Siddhartha and Avantika were made for each other. Their relationship was above the world of materialistic possession and physical intimacy. He found love in her slurps of tea while his poems over a few stubs of cigarettes, that’s where she lost her heart. Even twenty-four hours a day were short for the discussions they struck,
the poetries they shared and
the love they felt.
But there’s a thing about love, it has to be taken care of like an infant. You need to express,
you need to talk,
you need to confess,
you need to let go of the boo-boos
you need to hear and above all,
you need to understand the unsaid.
That’s where they lost their ways.

तारीफ़ों से चीख उठता है जनाब का दिल,

उनकी आँखों में देखा है मैंने,

बस जुबाँ पर कभी आने नहीं दी उन्होंने,

भूरे सी डायरी में आवाज़ों को कैद किया करते थे।

Funny, how it took a poetryslam to make and break two hearts.

While one yearned to hear the emotions hidden in the pages of the diary, the other turned blind eye to the silent requests made.

She just happened to lose her soul in their cup of relation so much so that she never realised when she was holding onto an empty cup, where emotions and expressions never had their place.
And for Siddhartha, he lighted up the story like his piece of cigarette, smoked it, let it affect his system and put it out when half finished.

In the echoes of their verses, a few cups of tea and some half burnt cigars they felt so much love that they never knew when the sound of their beating hearts was hushed,
Lub-Dub hush!

Lub-dub Shhhhhhhh!

They were caught, reflected and absorbed in a dark, dingy ally meeting an immature ending like several other incomplete stories whose shrieks still haunt those wandering the streets.

-Dash

The Reflection in a shattered Mirror

It’s not about love yet it’s all about love. When it comes to us it’s all about loving someone.

The clock on the wall created the background sound of suspense and thrill as Siddharth studied the email again and again. The expressions on his face changed from confusion to surprise then from surprise to acceptance n then to a forbidden look of disgust. 
As Nitansha sat there trying to read every  line of tension and every wrinkles that guaranteed his anger, She felt panicked . like someone has unearthed the burried skeletons of her past. The past which she had left behind her . The Past which she thought would never come up . She dared asking Siddharth What’s the matter !! 
Siddharth took  printout of some documents. Threw them on the table and asked her to start packing. 

She took the print out and started reading. It was an Email from Kaira. She didn’t want to read the letter any further. She wanted to rush to Siddharth. She wanted to curl into a hole and stay there. 
Now she did not know whether to laugh or to cry.  She took a look at the other papers. They were the print out of tickets to her hometown . The town where she had taken birth and brought up. The city was the witness of the mischievous deeds of her  childhood, the awesome creativity​ of her teenage years. Yearnings of adulthood ,heart breaks , fake smiles , suppressed sobs, those late night sneak outs, those early morning jogs, Late in the afternoon laughter and Early​ evening strums of guitar . 
She walked like a zombi . Packed everything n got ready for Siddharth to come n pick her up.

In the mean while her mind drifted to the day of her first night with Siddharth. He had said they should be friends first , then best friends and then Husband wife. He was mature enough to know the complications, misunderstanding of arranged marriage. He knew they had to melt the wall of  ice between them with the heat of truth . He had started the conversation with light mood then taking it to a seriousness of how to please which member of his family. like His Mom would expect her to be at the puja place by 7 in a saree. N his father would want her to arrange his news paper, Cup of tea with little sugar n Tulsi be ready for him in the garden when he returns from the morning walk by 6. His sister would love to have a bhabi who would open her curtains n wake her up before the college time n chose her dress according to the trend. He even didn’t miss the Gardner Raghav chacha and the cook Mohan Chacha . He said they wouldn’t tolerate each other n always kept the household busy in their playful banter. If looked from an outsider’s view they had a snake n mangoose relationship. But only the house members knew their day didn’t end without sharing their all day story over dinner. He mentioned His mother’s love for Banarasi sarees, Guava n her addiction with the kitchen . He reminded her not to put Brinjal in any of his father’s dishes n how much he loved to sit and eat with his family n his obsession with old family photos. Coming back to his sister he only had to say spend time with her, help her in her studies and makeup she would be wagging around like a puppy  within days . 

 When she had asked any special mention about him. He had said one thing. “Tell me everything that’s true or not ,but keep me well informed  about the whole story and your role.  and never ever try n keep something hidden from me”. Then he had smiled and said it’s better to lay open all your cards. I should know at least what I’m dealing with. She had managed to draw a faint smiled to hide her fear .  He was like a mind reader. He sensed her discomfort. To ease it out he had hold her hand and drawn smooth circles around it. 

In a calm and soothing voice he had said. I’m not a perfect Man Nitansha! n I know it. It would take sometime to know each other completely. But most importantly trust should be there . From this day onwards I promise to trust you with all my heart and want you to do the same. 
Then he started “well u know in the past, I used to like a girl. We were in a relationship. we both loved each other. But love was not enough. She had a different definition of love and mine was not complimentary to hers. we did not complete each other and our equations didn’t get balanced. We got separated. I used to see her every day in the college n every day was a torture”. Pain reflected in his eyes. Nitansha could read all those unspoken words , She could see all the unshed tears starting to melt down the glacier n she could sense a Part of Siddharth leaving him , leaving him for good . She could see him breaking into pieces. Her heart ached to collect those pieces and reform it something of her own. He continued “after a few days I stopped going college to avoid her. She got to know about it. One day she came to my doorstep . Papa asked me to meet her somewhere outside . We went to our Riverside spot. There she lectured me about How she was not the perfect one for me. Enlightened her faults Highlighted my Bests. But it’s not easy , U know. It’s not easy to watch your dream house getting shattered and to sit there without being able to do something. Even when your own engineer starts pointing about your fault. Even though u know u have done your best. Even though u know it were meant to be broken it’s not easy to accept that. I was in a trance . It would be a lie if I tell you that I’m over her. But I promise I would never compare you with her neither Would I like you to be her. I want another chance at love, at life n that’s with you.. ” Nitansha could not hold back anymore she wanted to weep badly. she wanted to leap into his warms. She wanted to Comfort him n may be take little comfort in his being. She wanted to collect those small pieces of his heart and wanted to keep them locked in a small box and wanted to throw the key into the ocean. Or to somewhere none else could find it. While She started to collect those shattered pieces She forgot, the broken pieces could sting. When Siddharth asked her about her past relationships She felt the pain of internal injury. She felt the mirror is the deadliest when shattered. Apart from reflecting your deeds zoomed and focused to a multiple times, it has the ability to tear the flesh and make you bleed.

She just smiled and told him about everyone who had ever proposed her n whom she had rejected . From that day onwards They had open access to all their letters and emails.  

The bell rang , making her return to the reality. She prepared her apology speech. Took in a long breath and opened the door. But he wasn’t there .He had sent the driver instead. He asked about him. The driver said he was busy. She felt a pang of sorrow . In their marriage of two years Siddharth had never missed the opportunity to kiss her good bye.. 

As she sat in the Car , n it started rolling,She opened the Email.  

Kaira had written! 

Dear Nitansha,

Arav is no more! 

The impact of those 4 words were so heavy that she felt someone has knocked her head with a heavy iron rod and snatched away the ground beneath her. Her head started spinning , She didn’t know how to react . So much was happening around her,like she was in a movie hall n some one was taking interest in all the tragic scenes , Like it was in a fast forwarded motion n she couldn’t find the remote to stop it. She continued reading the letter with eyes full of tears..

“I don’t know how much you know about me, But let’s hope at least u know me. I won’t spend time in formalities and directly tell u the story you never got to know about, whose consequences u know but the process you are unaware of. 

We (Me and Arav) were researching under the same guide. We both were Indians , believing in same culture, having some aspirations, facing the same problem of adjustments, Surviving to withstand the stress and to come out as the best. In this maddening crowd where we knew no body yet every body was polite enough to return your open eyed gazes with a humble smile,we were like a mismatch piece of a puzzle. U know it was not wrong. It was just new, it was odd, it was different. 

U must be thinking how come I’m so, comfortable in narrating these to you !! Well you were never an intruder to me. I have known so much about you that I doubt whenever someone wants to hear my life story it would be incomplete without mentionig you. let it, coming back to the point , We were stuck in a crowd which was in a race to overcome each other. Mornings turned​ into evenings , evenings to nights but the lights ! Those lights never went off . Like they were afraid of sleeping, like If they sleep some one would take advantage of that time n make their dream come true only to have patent on his name. The city never sleeps. They never take rest. They find comfort in beating each other. You were in the best institute of India . I know you must have known what hard work is. but trust me when I’m saying here, our Hard work is nothing compared to theirs . We tried to adjust. We tried to stand in the crowd then realized the crowd was changing within the blink of eye, everyone was being replaced in a jiffy . We tried to walk, we increased our pace, we ran , we stumbled, we rose, again ran, whenever we got tiered we draged  ourselves .. We were afraid if we don’t keep up with their speed we would be lost. N after loosing our family our relations we had only ourselves . We could not afford to lose us. 
Aarav! U know him .U know how competitive he was. Well he was like a fire, spreading his wings with whatever opportunity he got. He always kept himself busy. He was the guides favorite. Me!? Well let’s say I was not the best yet I managed to be in the toppers lists somehow. Our friendship Started when we completed our thesis and there was a party to celebrate. He was boozed to the levels of professional addicts. He had no sense of what he was doing. Someone requested me to play the violin . I started with a Happy note, but didn’t know how I ended up with a classical melancholic tune. before I took my leave from the stage, he came up to the stage n requested me to Play the tune once more. I didn’t know what probed me to grant his wish , May be it was that thing in his eyes , Which was clouded like a storm , yet their was lingering burn like a spark of lightning stroke. I felt I was trapped in a raging Strom. He silently Strummed his guitar. First slowly then Furiously, changing from high notes to lower . Then he started singing. A song so, soothing yet evoking the turmoil of emotions at a time . I wondered whether the vodka was strong or the ‘cocktail’ . 

He was singing to us, but I could see him complaining​​, could see his pent up frustrations , the unfairness of his life, the foggy image of his future. The uncertainty of his actions n the irrationality of his thoughts. He was aware of all these. He wanted to rush from them , yet he wanted to cling to them. They had become his addiction. A maddening addiction. That time I realized Addiction is not when you  destroy yourself in the pit of alcohol  or weeds. It can be a maddening restlessness where u feel numb , it’s the urge to leave all control and hide yourself in the desire to be found . It’s like throwing yourself in the ocean coz u know ocean returns back everything, but not knowing that it might change you from a person to a body, it may kill YOU in the process. 

A gut wrenching emotion surged inside me. An urge to Take him in the arms, an urge to ran hand through his curly locks n to let him cry his heart out,To hide him from the world, to cure all his wounds , to make him understand , to understand him , To protect him , To be by his side , To walk that extra mile for him, to wait for the eternity . I think What I felt that night was new to me. No one has ever made me that restless.. it was like mirror neurons were transferring his restlessness, his anxiety, his heartaches , a part of his soul to me . our soul connected over an eye contact. His eyes full of stories caught the eagerness of my learning eyes , held it, trapped it n bound me in it forever.
He used to tell me how it’s not about love yet it’s all about love. 
He had told me about you. Don’t worry!! all the beautiful things . He had told me about his parents, his friends but mostly all his talks revolved around you. 

The moment you had rebelled against seniors, the moment when he had envied you for stealing the lime light . The moment when you had actually stolen the limelight beating him in the guitar quest,the moment when he had taken the revenge in semester results. The moment prof.dutta had put you two together in a project group . The moment you had together ruined his lab. The moment he had put the blame on you and the moment you took all the blame upon yourself.The moment He had apolozised . And the moment you had forgiven. The moment he had shared his feelings and the moment you had gone down on your knees .  His moments , your moments and when they merged to be your moments. your careless attitudes, his responsibility towards you. His aloofness ,your sensitivity. His grave arrogancy,and your easy going jovial nature, He had told me everything .. If you go by his words it was all that a physical balance needs to stick it’s needle at zero. He had also informed me the immigration factor also, That turned the equation into an inequality. He wanted to fly high but you were not ready to leave the ground yet. your dreams were to live with your closed ones. And he had aspired to live for his closed ones. How silly n young u have been!! Had you realized that ,you  both were living by your closed ones, you might have stuck together. 

A single drop of tear rolled down her cheeks. 

  

The letter further read.

 Well we kind of started taking fancy into each other. Perhaps he found the perfect pillow for himself n I found the Shoulder . I were there by his side. In every ups and downs. He used to call me his support system . I was everything to him, his guide, his confident , his best friend , his soulmate, everything except for being the love of his life.But he was everything for me. My love and my life. 

After learning about your marriage, He kept himself locked in a room for days. Even I wasn’t allowed to enter. His parents were Stressed. They even left India n showed up here . But he wouldn’t listen to anyone. After a weak We Couldn’t take it anymore . We broke the door and went there. There he was . U know what! u would think he would be drown in misery , Would be sitting there in dark pit of alcohol n would be crying over you. but what we found, completely surprised us. He was working on another thesis on dwarf stars . He was surrounded by crumpled papers , pens and scales erasers n everything. His parents was too dumfounded to speak anything. His mother was just relived to see his son in a sane state . She went to offer her prayer. His father followed her.

 I could see the Small weary lines in his eyes, The furrow of his forehead . The uneven breathing pattern , The heavy sighs n that nerve wrenching restlessness. I felt incompetent standing there n not knowing what to do. I called his name. At first he didn’t answer . Then again, I called Arav ,he noded slightly. I went to him put a hand on his shoulder n looked down into his eyes. He stood up from his chair n went to the window. I followed him . He looked at the crescent. I looked at the crescent on the earth, incomplete yet hidden by the shadow of his past. I couldn’t bear the silence. I hugged him . N burried my face in his chest. He was not responsive at first . I couldn’t hold on anymore, seeing him breaking down piece by piece broke something inside me. I dare not attempt to readjust those pieces. I feared I could not face the bruises of his heart . I knew I couldn’t have that Arav back. I broke down into tears. He hold me there..hugged me tight and silently I could sense tears drops falling on my head. when my sobs restored in to silent tears I looked up to him He broke down at once. This time I was the one holding him. I didn’t utter a word. He cried the whole night. N tired he slept there in my lap. 
The darkest night passed. The usual Arav was back . But I knew He had burried the part associated with u in some dark corner of his heart. I didn’t probe further. Some memories are meant to be hidden. Some wounds are meant to be un treated. Some stories better be left unsaid n some water better not go under the bridge. 

After a year he proposed me. I said “Yes”. I knew what I’m getting was not the complete Arav but I couldn’t refuse what I was getting. I knew I’m getting more than I deserve. 
U know some are not that lucky . Some get the full moon while others admire the crescent. For me he was the crescent. Incomplete for the rest of the world but I knew the shadow that was covering his better half. He was the symbol of life, good n bad , black n white, light and shadow , full yet half . I knew I was not the one to complete him, for he was complete in his full glory. I was meant to be a star in his sky. 

Not every one has the glory of being Radha . Some wives are as cursed as Rukmini . Not everyone has the dedication of being Meera . Some have to find their solace in the fire of Accepting the past, like Rukmini. Krishna Was Rukmini’s yet he belonged with Radha. Everyone praises Meera for for her dedication, but somewhere the pain, the journey, the tears and the fears of Rukmini remains hidden.

It was a good journey. Like said earlier he was my everything and I was his everything except for love. We were like the bestest of pals. Who could spend the forever in each other’s company. We were like the siblings who Understand each others words even though they were unspoken. like Opponent we argue, we fight but then like children we forget those. Life was good. It was a sweet journey. Only the chemistry, that spark was missing. you were not there. Still Your memory was lingering in the air. Did I felt jealous!! Yes, but sometimes I felt relieved. Coz I know he couldn’t live without you.like you were the oxygen to his breaths  . I could sense  something was eating him up.But I didn’t know what. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I asked him many times but he wouldn’t utter a word. I felt sometimes contacting you for help but feared that would cause trouble in your life. 

On 20.04.16,(last night, even 8hrs haven’t passed) He met with an accident. Car accident. Can you believe it! He was such a cautious driver. No alcohol intake, No case of break failure. Just that the Car was in 120km/hr speed n he couldn’t see a speeding truck coming from the turning. I met Him in the hospital. 
He Was lying on the death bed . U know he asked me to forgive him.He confessed that the guilt of not giving me the love I deserved, not being able to erase you from his memory was eating him up. The feeling of being unfair to ‘us’ maddend him so much that he speeded up to an extent that  could numb his mind.He Handed me a diary. Asked me to read it n then to hand it over to you.U know what his parting words were

It’s not about love,still it’s all about love

Looking down at the retrospect , I realized Even the full moon is engulfed in the shadow on a new moon day. His funeral is in your city, Banaras. Hope you would pay him a visit for the last time. It’s too much to ask, I know. But he deserves this. so, I beg you Nitansha. 

_Kaira . 

She held the letter to her heart and cried it out. 
As the flight took off she wondered to the day of her marriage. How her mother had promised her not to Speak anything about Arav Infront of Siddharth. How she had restrained her from doing so giving her ‘Kasam’ . How she had lectured her every time that past is past. N she should not let it ruin her future. And now she had even ruined her present. She had broken Siddharth’s trust.  Arav is no more. In the airport when she had called her mother , she accused her of ruining everything on her own. She didn’t know what fate had planned for her. But at that moment She wanted to pay a last tribute to the parting soul. May  the soul that Had already burried in her get united with his soul at the holy bank Of Gangaa. She decided She would go to his funeral and upon returning she would go to Siddharth , n tell him all the truth. not that there was anything much to say. Then it’s up to him to accept her or not. 
The plane landed. she went straight to the ghat. Watching the fire burning his body , She burnt in the Fire too. She took a bath.

While returning ,Kaira hugged her. And handed her a diary. She took that with a shivering hand. And said “U know Kaira apart from Radha, Meera and Rukmaini , There were 16,000 gopis , who even after being rescued by Krishna n being with him, Didn’t belong to him”. With a faint uplift of her lips she bid farewell from kaira from herself, from him, from his memories and from the Past. 

In the end when it comes upon us it’s all about loving someone.

                                       _🎭Nayana🎭

The Shattered mirror .

It’s not about the Love, yet it’s all about love.

I turned my back. I turned my back from her,from the addiction which had bounded me to her since the last two and half decades. I turned my heart. I turned my heart from the only species of opposite gender who has ever mattered to me more than my life. As the seal on my passport embedded and I changed my Identity, My personality changed. I turned my back. I turned my back from my self…

                               💎💎💎
“Mummy!! Mummy!! Where  have u kept them.!? Mummy, why can’t I find them on the place, where I had left them yesterday!! Why do u try to interfere in my things and always end up turning my world upside down!!”, Cried out Arav in exasperation as he failed to find his shoes. The 14 year old lad was unable to arrange his books yet was blaming his mother for turning his world up side down. An awesome poet,nerdy quizzing guy but popularly known as “the guy with guitars”,his determination was a force to be rekoned with. He was intelligent,witty,and eyes with dreams that dazzle every time when he looks at others. He was not any typical Indian guy,but in another way he was one of them, crazy about cricket but sane enough not enter into heroworship,eager to point fingers towards every one but intelligent enough to mind his own business,curios about to poke nose into other matters but patient enough not to make an issue out of it. In simpler words our hero was every inch an average Indian guy yet he was different.He wore this cute smile which can charm every woman in the vicinity,but had this aura of mystery and superiority around him which can intrigue any man Infront of him. Anyway coming back to his story, well may be due to my blabbering we have missed his growing up years . He is ,well 16 now. 

                           💎💎💎

His father looking up, trying to make a point , said ‘u need to speed down Arav. Next time I find you breaking the speed limit you are going to be grounded’. Arav had outgrown his father in height. Well he didn’t want to stop there. He wanted to outgrow him in every way possible. Out grow him in his success, outgrow him in making money, outgrow in carrying out responsibility and more than that he wanted to outgrow him in taking care of his family. And he knew if there was any person who would be happier to b outgrown by him, it was his father. So, with a smirk he replied “never dad. There would be no next time.I would not give you a chance to find me braking the speed limits again”. His mother came with a heavy book of Physics.”the delivery man delivered this today. U need to gear up for the exams if u really want to be an engineer”,said his mother handing him the book. All he could do was stare at the book.  Gone are the days when he used to flip the pages, gone are the days when he used to sit and play with tunes. Now he had aspirations ,a passion to die for. He had known what he wanted and now no one could stop him. Not even LOVE….

                           💎💎💎

As the bell rung , A boy shouted, “Arav bhaiya ,Arav bhaiya!! wake up, today is your convocation. Uncle and aunty are due on airport in 2 hrs. Wake up Bhaiya.wake up!!!” Arav reluctantly left his bed and went to the bath room. As the cold tiles hit his feet, reality struck him hard. Today was the last day of his college life. Last day with all his friends. Last day with Nitansha,the girl who ‘turned his world upside down’.Last day when he could see her in flesh and blood.All those moments of chemistry flashed in his eyes.. The moment she had rebelled against seniors, the moment when he had envied her for stealing the lime light . The moment when she had actually stolen the limelight beating him in the guitar quest,the moment when he had taken the revenge in semester results. The moment prof.dutta had put them together in a project group . The moment they had together ruined his lab. The moment he had put the blame on her and the moment she took the blame upon her. .The moment He had apolozised . The moment she had forgiven. The moment he had shared his feelings , the moment she had gone down on her knees . His moments , her moments and when they merged to be their moments. Her careless attitudes, his responsibility towards her. His aloofness ,her sensitivity. His grave arrogancy,and her easy going jovial nature, was all that a physical balance needs to stick it’s needle at zero. But one thing was there… That turned the equation into an inequality. He wanted to fly high but she was not ready to leave the ground yet. Her dreams were to live with her closed ones. And he had aspired to live for his closed ones.Had they realized that ,they  both were living by their closed ones, they might have stuck together.

 As the hot shower got cooler erasing his pain, he realized he had to pick his parents up. He got out of the shower and quickly made himself presentable.  

The pride in his father’s eyes , the tears in his mother’s eyes ;when he was awarded with a gold metal could somehow lessen the pain in his eyes by seeing nitansha departing for forever with a sardonic look in her eyes.

                              💎💎💎

As the plane left the ground of his motherland , Arav left behind  his old self. His old memories. If the argument about his decision of leaving the country has made him realized anything, it was that he really needed to leave the country. Nitansha’s words echoed in his ears”you’r a coward. A selfish person who sees no one.A person who can’t even understand the needs of his loved ones”.

He sacrified his life with loved ones for the dream he had aspired. He sacrified his life for his loved ones. Brain drain for supporting ones family was a common issue. But brain drain for supporting ones dream had stirred a fire among his people. He never knew how to poison the dreams he had worked so long to nurish and cherish. He didn’t knew how to let all those efforts go in a sigh. He couldn’t bring himself to murder the dreams which he had seen in the eyes of his parents. They all had seen it in unison. He admitted none of them knew a day like this would come ,neither had they known the scopes in astrophysics is so slim there. He couldn’t restrain his enthusiasm in that narrow space. It blinded him, suffocated him. But no one understood him. No one understood that it wasn’t for Nitansha… Not even his family. Not even Nitansha…. 
                            💎💎💎

“I turnedd my back. I turned my back from her,from the addiction which had bounded me to her since the last two and half decades. I turned my heart. I turned my heart from the only species of opposite gender who has ever mattered to me more than my life. As the seal on my passport embedded and I changed my Identity, My personality changed. I turned my back. I turned my back from my self…” Arav said to kaira. “I wasn’t intended on leaving them alone forever. I wanted to bring them with me. Had I have slightest doubt of their suffering without me I wouldn’t have left them alone. But they are well off without me. They were well off without me when I was in hostel. N I have promised myself ,after accomplishing what I have come for I would go back to them. But they don’t understand” he cried remebering the calloused hands of his mother. He cried remebering the day when his father brought him a guitar,selling his cycle. When he had brought him the Physics book from the money he had saved for his mobile. He cried remebering the day when his father had said “If u want to smile for us, smile for yourself. If u want to make us smile, smile yourself.” And the day when his mother had said”If someone offers u a life with the kind of love you want and someone with the kind of life u want; chose the life you want, For love is a luxury and life is a necessity”. He cried into the arms of kaira.

Kaira,The one who was, some how able to restore his upside down earth,the one who understood him. Away from home, away from family he found another Soul who, having felt those herself, shared his emotions..

        It’s not about THE LOVE yet it’s about ‘love’. 

                                          _🎭Nayana🎭_